CITY : London (Canary Wharf)
VENDOR: The Hilton (Canary Wharf)
NARRATIVE: After an overlong day in the zoo there was only room service left as an option. So I decided to sacrifice my healthy eating week in the pursuit of another blog entry! I went for the double cheeseburger with bacon and Monterey jack cheese on the recommendation of the hilarious guy who takes the room service order who once again cracked his half fat coke joke when I ordered a diet coke! Yes I know that given the burger and fries this is sort of closing the barn door after the horse has bolted but...
BURGER: Really good flavour in both of them! Slightly overcooked!
BUN: Disappointing – I suspect it had been defrosted in the microwave as the base was crisp and largely inedible – however this was not important – see more later!
DRIP FACTOR: Pretty heavy for overcooked burgers! Where does the drip come from if the burger is dry?
DID IT HOLD TOGETHER? See next answer!
COULD WE ACTUALLY EAT IT? Even the giant pythons of the Amazon rain forest with their dislocated jaws which have been known to eat small wild dogs could not get their mouth around this! Totally impractical. I had to remove the base of the bun (see question above) the tomato, lettuce, the pickle – (not declared in the menu – pet peeve!) and the huge amount of raw onion to be able to get it into my mouth. The skewer did indeed hold it together which would have been helpful if using this as a doorstep or footstool but essentially just added to the difficulty!
CHIPS: Fries in an over pretentious silver basket – actually well cooked, warm and the right amount!
WOULD WE GO THERE AGAIN? All too often to the hotel but will be avoiding the burgers!
OVERALL SUMMARY: Every hotel should be able to knock up a straight forward burger for the weary traveller who does not have the energy to deconstruct their food or hunt for undeclared pickle! This one cannot do that. The raw materials were actually quite good (except the frozen bun) – but over engineering and poor prep left this with a very poor score.

Served on brown paper: New Criteria – No – on a slate plate – slate for a burger! For goodness sake!
MARKS OUT OF 10: 3.5/10 – Give this one a miss!

Grill'd Healthy Burgers, Melbourne

CITY: Melbourne
VENDOR: Grill'd Healthy Burgers
VENDOR WEBSITE: http://www.grilld.com.au

NARRATIVE: We ordered the "Mighty Melbourne" which has grass-fed lean beef, tasty cheese crispy trim bacon, a fried egg (which they note came from a free-range chicken), a couple of slices of beetroot, salad and some relish.  You get a choice of bun - one with sesame seeds, or one with flour.  Australians like their burgers with egg, bacon and beetroot.  It is very good, but not to everyone's taste.  It def appeals to mine.
BUN: Toasted on the burger-side.  It think this might make the whole thing a little less soggy.  Less chance of inadvertently putting a finger through the bun.  No complaints on the bun.
BURGER: The burger had a very nice taste and was very juicy.  Perhaps a little too juicy (see 'drip factor').
DRIP FACTOR: This burger had a high drip factor.  I felt the drip make it's way down my forearm to my elbow.  It's impossible to lick your elbow.
DID IT STAY TOGETHER? I don't know how, but it did indeed stay together.  It did take a firm grip and some fairly careful finger placement to achieve this.
COULD WE ACTUALLY EAT IT? This burger tested the limits of our jaw-extension.  I did it, but it was not comfortable to take a clean full cross-section bite.  This might have been assisted had I squashed the burger first, but then I would have blown the drip factor off the scales. 
CHIPS: These were cooked to perfection with the right about of crispiness, and the chip size and quantity was perfect.  There was a sprinkling of salt and herbs (rosemary, I think), but too much.  I could do without the herbs.  They give the chips a non-chippy flavour, and  we don't think that people should mess with the chip formula too much: potato, oil and salt is the winning combination.  Dip if you must, but leave out the herbs, please.
WOULD WE GO THERE AGAIN? Yes, absolutely.  It plays in the blurry space between fast-food joint and family restaurant.  I would not delve too far into the 'healthy' claim, though…  It certainly didn't feel healthy... 

OVERALL SUMMARY: The burger was very tasty and scores highly for the mix of content.  It loses for drippiness, and the herby sprinkling on the chips is a no-no.  The burger wins on taste but stumbles on ease-of-eat and accompaniments. 

SCORE OUT OF TEN: 6.5/10

 

CITY : Toronto
VENDOR: The Burger’s Priest
NARRATIVE: Recently rated the 8^th best burger in Toronto http://www.torontolife.com/daily-dish/restaurants-dish/2012/05/16/25-best-burgers/ so given the beef loving Canadians you would expect good things. This was a joint visit by two members of the judging committee (JB & CR) and therefore a joint review. It was an early meal before going to a baseball game so we were certainly in the right mood! Venue is very cool and is just a roll up joint. Menu behind the counter is quite difficult to read but this led to the guy serving us helping out and making recommendations – excellent service!.
BURGER: Very good – perfectly cooked, moist and full of flavour. “The California” comes with secret sauce, soft onions and importantly no hidden pickle. Good flavours!
BUN: A new development they actually lightly fry the roll to making it lightly crispy! However on the downside this did make the burger slightly greasy overall. It also gave it the appearance of having been trodden on!
DRIP FACTOR: Some drip due to the nice moist burger which would have been ok but was however very sneaky in how it emerged and ended up only narrowingly missing my trousers and shoes!
DID IT HOLD TOGETHER? Slighly messy towards the end – not helped by greasy fingers but was not a problem.
COULD WE ACTUALLY EAT IT? Yes! Easily – went for the single burger as it was early and it hit the spot! Double next time – and nice that they have these options!
CHIPS: Large bag of fries – slightly browned but nice and hot and full of flavour.
WOULD WE GO THERE AGAIN? Yep – would dry some of the other options on the menu and also a double – great spot, service and a real burger joint!
OVERALL SUMMARY: An excellent place – I think only let down by the fried roll becoming too greasy so getting messy.  Excellent value and a great place! It was packed by the time we headed out so clearly a destination of choice.

Served on brown paper: New Criteria – Yes though in the form of a brown bag!
MARKS OUT OF 10: 6.5/10 – if I was to judge it on the food alone then it was not quite up there with some of the best but clearly a place to go back to!

 

CITY : London
VENDOR: British Airways Gold Lounge Heathrow Airport Terminal 5
NARRATIVE: Having reached an all time low with airplane food I decided to sneak in a cheeky burger before getting on the plane to Toronto. Having had several of these before I knew it was good but had never set it the challenge of our exacting criteria.
BURGER: Very good, solid and full of flavour. Maybe a little dense and over cooked but you certainly knew you were eating it.
BUN: Very good – nice flavour and texture.
DRIP FACTOR: None – maybe as over cooked – see above.
DID IT HOLD TOGETHER? Perfectly!
COULD WE ACTUALLY EAT IT? Yes, although they had sneaked in an unannounced pickle that needed to be removed which could have killed the experience! There was also a deadly looking skewer that twisted inside that could have resulted in injury but this was spotted in time,
CHIPS: All 6 of them (see photo) were excellent!
WOULD WE GO THERE AGAIN? Sadly all too often! But the burger is my top tip to anyone over BA airplane food!
OVERALL SUMMARY: They pull these together to order and they arrive quickly! All very good quality as you might expect in a first class lounge and a definite highlight! Sadly lacking a little in presentation.

Served on brown paper: New Criteria – Yes  - This seems to have become a trend.
MARKS OUT OF 10: 7.5/10 – few minor faults – too few chips, hidden pickle and skewer do not stop this from being a strong contender.